Relationship Pillar

Session 3

Checking & Agenda:

  • How was your week?
  • Own Your Attitude & Create Better Relationships

  • Communication Style Will Make or Break Your Relationships

Own Your Attitude & Create Better Relationships

How you react to others will make your life better or worse.

Here are 5-Attitudes people communicate with (1):

  1. Attack: You want to be right no matter what.
  2. Self-Doubt: Judge yourself, put yourself down. Fear of failing and being a victim.
  3. Curiosity: Mindful, observant and pause. Looking at the relationship with new eyes.
  4. Detective: Self-aware. You know what you want and speak your truth and honor your boundaries.
  5. Connection: Empathy, compassion, and understanding. You listen and care for the person the speaking.

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him.” 

-President Lincoln

Communication Style Will Make or Break Your Relationships

This work is taken from aNew Zealand system called Dots which is based on pre-cognitive communication; the study of how you process your thoughts.

4-Communication Styles (2):

  1. Talkers: Talking their thoughts through. They are interested in what do you want from me. Very high energy people.
  2. Thinkers: Thinking things through thoroughly. These communicators are listening for the where do they fit in.
  3. Visual: Turning words into pictures in your mind. These communicators like their environment to be tidy. The when is very important. Being on time is important.
  4. Feelers: Getting a feel for what’s occurring. These communicators are the finishers. They are listening for the why should I do that.

When you know someone’s communication style you know what they are listening for and can give it to them. This will help build better connections and more harmonious relationships.

You deserve that.

It only takes practice.

How will you use these insights for the next 2-weeks?



(1) Ted Talk with Louise Evans: Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success

(2) Ted Talk with Amy Scott: Build don’t break relationships with communication